So many things so little time and so little money..
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I have like so many things for this upcoming Dec.
Yet i have so little time and so little money.
I practically like spend my pay in my mind before i even got it.
LOL.
Im having chalet for no particular reason,
from the 14th to 17th Dec.
Then Xmas is coming.
Need to buy lots of present.
Bczu Xmas is coming.
Celerbration Xmas Eve with Mh and etc.
BCUZ XMAS is coming!!
Hahaha.
I always love Xmas and Chinese New year when i was a kid.
This are two favourite holiday of the year.
Bcuz Xmas is coming.
/me totally in a happy mood now.
Bcuz Xmas is coming.
Then on the 30th Dec im going to Shanghai!
8Days Shanghai tour.
So many things, so little time.
So little money.
Lets hope i strike 4D. XD
Bcuz Xmas is coming!!!
*
Some random stuff.
I was deleting my sms yesterday, bcuz my inbox was too full.
I realise i recieved alot 4D sms and Toto sms loh.
After i apply for my 3G sim card and Auto Roaming plan,
i have been recieving them.
And to my surprise,
I keep them. Alot of them. ><
Another random stuff.
What are your fears?
Some of fears.
a. I have to close the windows b4 i go to bed.
Bcuz my dad said so. (tats lame.)
My fear is that if someone tried to kill herself by jumping out of the window.
Im afraid that the body would caught hold of my arm,
while closing the window. YEEKS!
Then the corpse will pull me down too.
Every single time i close the window,
I will think of this. XD
b. You know, in coffeeshops, they always have TV hanging from the ceiling.
For their customers to watch.
My fear is that, whenever i walk under the TV, it will fall on me.
Crushing me like a pancake.
c. Walking on glass floor. I will tend to walk on the edge,
so afraid that the glass will break and i will fall.
Im afraid of heights. XD
d. beetle stuck on to my hair. i know, this sounds silly.
But my house always have beetles.
They tend to fly towards my hair like bee to honey.
e. Another fear is that whenever i have to deal with a mircowave,
im afraid that it will blow up right in front of me,
if i put a non-mircowavable plate in there.
I always double,
in fact,
triple check with my mum if that particular plate is safe.
Till my mum got fed up with me.
One thing that my mum dont know is that, when i switch on the mircowave,
i will walk out of the kitchen on purpose, so that i dont get blasted.
LOL.
So, these are my fears.
Now im vulnerable.
><
*
I wan to change to Wordpress leh!
So i can lock my entries. And only limit to certain ppl.
Sigh.
But the layout suxs.
But i think i can cope with it.
Till then i dont think i wanna blog in details here.
SIGH.
雁 blogged on the 11/28/2007 02:26:00 PM.
Story..
Thursday, November 22, 2007
She is a person who is lack of self-confidence,
even thou her laughters were loud enough to cover them up.
She has alot of secrets that none knew.
She hide from her family,
her friends,
her collegues, everyone.
She was depressed with life.
Because life was never fair from the family she came from
She met him while she was seventeen.
He treated her well.
She thought he was the love of her life.
He made her feel good,
treated her like a princess,
like every girl wants.
He made her feel that life was filled with colors instead of black and white.
He made her feel that she could be just herself when she was with him,
full of confident.
2 yrs later,
the love they had faded,
all the promises made were broken.
Her lack of confident and depression silently crawl back into her life.
He had someone eles.
He was a two-timer.
She still love him.
He said, his girlfriend treated him badly,
yet he didnt want to ditch her(his girlfriend).
He asked her back.
She agreed.
It was the foolish thing that she has ever done:
Agreeing to be his affair.
Things were nv fair.
The pain could kill her.
She starts to mutilate herself,
not to threaten to die so that he could return.
That was her way of exterminate her pain out.
Nobody understand her.
She didnt bothered to explain.
She came into her life.
Guided her back into the path.
Life was never fair to her and her.
She lost her to cancer at a young age.
She mutilates herself again.
Hoping that cancer kills her instead.
Every scar is burning white hot.
Nobody sends cares abt her.
Others thought that she could gradually stands up.
But she didnt.
There were times,
late at night,
where she still weeps for her.
Yet the rest thought that she moved on.
Nobody thought she was capable of such feelings.
She is tired.
The death that she couldnt cope with.
Her friend once said that she needed help for her mutilating problem.
She thinks its perfectly ok.
Her way of expressing her anger, hurt and misery.
Then,
She fell in love with her.
She thought she was love of her life.
She was a girl, had similar background,
She thought she wouldnt hurt her anymore.
History repeated itself.
She grew up, knew how to figure this out.
She moved on.
Now,
She fell in love with him.
But he love her.
In his eyes, there is only her.
One and only her.
There wasnt any space for her.
No matter how much effort she is putting in for him
He only sees her.
She must know that even when he dont have her,
He wont be able to have her.
But she wasnt able to convince herself to do that.
He puts her thru white hot pain,
all over again.
Just like how she felt before.
Why dont someone save her?
Why dont someone make her life fair enough?
Why dont someone stop her from crying?
The story of her.
Brought to you with tears and blood.
雁 blogged on the 11/22/2007 11:38:00 PM.
樂
Thursday, November 8, 2007
"樂" 这个字是一个很奇妙的字。
一讲到它，
大家都会把它和 "快" 想到一块。
变成了 "快樂"
可是，又有谁是真的快樂？
又有谁真得明白快樂？
"樂" 这个字，
可以分成两个部分来解读。
上部份，和 “木” 的下部分。
而 “木” 的那两撇，
就好想人的手一样。
很辛苦的在扛起上面沉重的东西。
很害怕上面的 “快樂”会掉下来。
很害怕“快樂”就这样从手中逃走。
"樂" 的上部份，
也分成了3段。
也就是说，快樂的来源有3个部分。
友情，亲情 和 爱情。
可是他们都分得很开。
根本没有办法容在一起。
只有外在的力量才能凝结他们。
快樂要靠自己的力量，
也是要有外在的成全和帮助才能达到的。
要快樂，真的是一件很难的事。
_______________________________________________________
I tell u!!
OMG LOR!
yesterday i went Bugis with Mh and Mag,
and we went to the arcade.
So Mh and Mag was busy playing with the 投篮机。
I saw a girl who LOOK EXCATLY like Mika Nakashima(中岛美加)
in NANA.
FYI,the picture above is Mika Nakashima(中岛美加) in NANA
Somemore she has a lip piercing loh.
I would die to have a gf that looks like her + lip piercing.
Throughout, i was staring at her
At a glimsp, i caught her looking back,
And i got a murderous stare. LOL.
Then she went to hug the other girl.
So i guess, she's attached.
Aw. So sad.
Now the image of her is stuck in my brain.
Like an axe stuck on a tree.
雁 blogged on the 11/08/2007 11:31:00 PM.
Upcoming Events.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Upcoming Events for my boring life to look out for.
Er.
Before i began, i have just received a damn terrible news.
MY BOSS KNOW THE EXSISTENCE OF MY BLOG!
im not quite sure if she does read abt them.
But apparantly the news,
of she knowing that there is such thing call blogs.
Esp mine,
Bcuz i usually rant abt her and the damn company.
No names mentioned thou.
Will i get sued?
*shrugs
I gotta think of an alternative here.
Its like i have spies here.
Back to the Upcoming events of my ultra boring life,
Christmas!!
Even thou,im not a christian nor my family is.
We do celerbrate Xmas every year.
without fail.
I think its a festive season,
well,
to celerbrate the love for your loved ones,
by showering them with presents.
Im the one who usually shop for the presents,
as in, i dont believe in giving cash,
unless i really have to.
Because i like opening surprises,
I believe everyone does.
Who doesnt?
So it is always nice to see someone's expression when receiving presents.
Besides the usual celebration at home,
there is another plan.
Which includes the following:
Gary Moh, Ling ling , Mh , Magmag + Me
(mayb Tziying, cuz she v.bz.)
Here is a suggested celebration we shld use,
If all of us do AM shift,
We could go catch a Xmas movie.
We could go East Coast Park to do some shouting.
(i know i sound insane)
Afterwhich, we could join Changi Airport one nite tour.
We could do potluck for our meals.
I could bring sherperd's pie or baked rice
Lingling could bring turkey.
Then someone provide us with things like ham, drinks and utensils.
As for exchanging of presents,
I was thinking,
I buy for each of us,
instead of each of us buy 1,
then pick one out of the pile.
Then each present should be at least SGD10.
No max. But min. SGD10
So to the above names mentioned,
pls kindly make urself free on Xmas eve,
that means pls take the morning shift.
Then off on 25th Dec.
Those who are not mention above
and yet wanna join,
Do msn me.
But,
subject to approval yah?
XD
2nd Upcoming Event,
Genting Trip in Jan.
Just on our own.
The same old gang
But mayb minus away lingling.
Bcuz of her mum. :/
So,
PEOPLE!
pls, settle a date so that we could take leave.
Once leave settle.
Ask tziying to take free for us.
Otherwise, we could just take the Buy 1 Free 1 promo.
kekeke.
Bkk trip. Mayb Jan or March
What i suggest is that we straight away confrim a date
and then,
We will booked on a budget carrier.
Then we will apply leave.
Gary shouldnt be a problem.
The biggest problem will be me, mh n ll.
Because we need to face TT and the mommy.
But once we confrim the flight,
we cant change,
they will have to let us go.
LOL.
So people,
we have so much to complete.
Im open to suggestions,
We get gary to go online,
Then we could confrence chat over in msn. XD
*
A list of things to get. MUZ!
- A new Ipod earpiece
(have been saying this since July.)
- Greys Anatomy Season 3 DVDs
- Heros Season 1 DVDs
- A lifetime of Secrets (Book)
Xmas is coming people!
Its a time to share!
:3
____________________________________________________
I love this song alot..
歌名：单生潜逃
歌手：戴佩妮
PS:我想我真的忘了,然而我不够坚强
我没有你想像中那么坚强
我只是擅长用微笑去伪装 不是吗
我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌
我也和你一样曾经年少轻狂受了一点伤
我们都是一样相信永远不远但坚持却有点难
就让记忆中的爱慢慢烧
烧痛了我们就逃
带着现实的拷这点我善于的微笑
通往没有你的轨道
就让记忆中的你慢慢老
老去了谁也得不到
带着我的祈祷这点我累积的问号
开始一次的单身潜逃
_____________________________________________________
Sometimes,
Somethings are just a facade.
I just recently found out that
the popular guy at my old sch,
He used to be so glam and out of reach,
But he has his flaws,
he betrayed his family, and haven been toking to them for almost a yr.
So, it is just all a facade.
全部都是，我们想要看得假象。
都并不是真实。
雁 blogged on the 11/04/2007 11:34:00 PM.
im backkk from Hokkaido! 我回来了！！
Friday, November 2, 2007
Im back.
Lots to say.
Lots of thoughts during the past 7Days.
But really when i were to put my thoughts into words,
i seem to lose them somehow.
I think im going to cry at the end of the entry.
I will try not to.
*
More Hokkaido Pictures.
*
I went to Hokkaido with a rather dreadful feeling.
Hating that i have to go alone,
A rather event-full of trip i must say.
Shortage of money.
Face to face arguement with my so-called Manager.
Last minute customer drop out.
But it turn out rather well over there.
I've got a very nice guide.
And i've got very nice customers.
我到了日本，就生病了。
我想，是因为生了病，我才没有空去在乎我会不会寂寞。
那 7 天的每一个早上，
我都超不想起床的。
眼睛中的像鲍鱼一样，
鼻子 + 耳鸣跟设么一样。。
鼻子还留鼻血
我心想，
我是何苦leh..
还不是要工作。
客人们，都觉得我们去带团，
好像都很好玩。
可是，
我都跟他们说，
我来，
自是想来 gain experience,
学者如何去待人处事，
多认识一些人而已。
病了都还要工作。
那，他们来玩，
有家人，有爱人陪着。
他们看到好玩，好吃，好用的，
都有人可以和他们分享。
可是啊。。
我只有我自己。
我要找谁和我分享。
我也只能，一天到晚跟自己打 OS.
但是，
我必须说，
我的客人和导游都对我很好，
知道我病了，
都很关心和体谅我。
我非常的感谢他们。
人。
本来就是个孤独的个体活。
应该要尝试着去适应 - 孤独。
可是我就是怕。
*
我到了北海道，
看到了很多她会喜欢的东西。
我本来都想买的。
可是，我没有。
我想买的唯一理由，就是想要讨好他而已。
因为，他喜欢她。 喜欢到要死。
因为我自私，所以我没有买。
我没有我想象中的宽容。
*
我上一次到日本，
到了浅草寺，
求了神名，让我在到日本。
果然，我又回到了日本。
又到了浅草寺。
可是却求到了一个凶签。
签上说的是：
“我等的人不会来，我等的机会不会到，我等的船不会到，我盖的房子会应为天灾人祸而失去。”
我觉得， 好像都是真的一样。
不自是感情方便，
我一想到， 我明年如果，
不能回到学校，
我想我会疯掉。
很想很想逃离这个地方啦。
饶了我。
让我走。
每一天要装开心， 会很累的。
我好像一错再错。
let me just fade away.
turn into bubbles.
雁 blogged on the 11/02/2007 12:10:00 AM.
